Developers as RPG classes

William Raendchen

05 Feb 2025 — 2 min read

I've recently seen a "developers as RPG classes" post on LinkedIn; I don't remember what it was, just that it was disappointing. So I decided to make my own.

🛡️ Paladin: Carries the holy book of functional programming and wields the refactoring hammer.

🔮 Sorcerer: macro-level genius, rephrases problems in ways that save weeks of work. Occasionally unleashes curses beyond their control.

🏹 Rogue: Can snipe bugs from a distance and changes code with surgical precision; never a single line more than necessary.

🛠️ Artificer: Automates workflows with pipelines, linters, and miscellaneous scripts. Turns every task into a feature factory.

📜 Bard: Writes legendary documentation, boosts team morale and keeps stakeholders entertained.

🗿 Barbarian: Bulldozes through technical blockers with sheer force of will. Regards type systems as shackles and leaves a glorious trail of tech debt.

I would say I'm dual-speccing as a Paladin/Artificer. What about you? Do you have more classes in mind?

Addon 1

Here's an addon with 3 more classes

🌩️ Cloud Shaman: Summons cloud infrastructure with a whisper. Speaks in YAML and Terraform; nobody else knows what they did or how to undo it.

🌿 Druid: moves between frontend, backend and databases; one with the entire ecosystem.

👹 Warlock: can still maintain systems written in PHP 5, COBOL, and jQuery. Refuses to upgrade anything ("never touch a running system")

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